Bubbles
summer and sprezzatura
It’s been a while since I’ve set aside time to write. Oddly, I haven’t felt a strong desire to do so. It doesn’t feel like something is missing from my life, though I do fear that I’m losing my sense of identity as a writer (hence this post).
I don’t know if I haven’t written anything because I don’t have anything to write about, or if I don’t have anything to write about because I haven’t written. For me, writing often is thinking.
So what’s been on my mind?
I’ve been inspired by unstructured writing. Two of my favorite Substacks, Bookbear Express and Griefbacon, are almost like diaries. Just collections of thoughts, slightly temporal and unpolished. So far, nearly all of my writing has been structured thoughtpieces, but I want Nonlinear to lean more in the direction of diary.
So what’s been on my mind?
Summer is coming to an end.
It went by really fast. I’m realizing that living “real” life is a lot harder than living at school, but also a lot more fun.
At school, your focus is singular and well-defined. There are assignments with clear instructions and deadlines—it’s just a matter of doing the work. Also, everything you need is in a very small area. You spend a surprising amount of time and energy just looking for and traveling to places.
But those things also make living at school less fun. Life feels inherently constrained. We go through the year never believing that a life-changing moment or serendipitous meeting could happen at school. It just doesn’t feel possible because life happens in such a bubble. It’s not sterile, but it’s reminiscent of a laboratory–confined, controlled, and safe.
But there are some parts I’m excited for. I look forward to having a routine that doesn’t blow up every week for some unexpected reason. And to getting back two hours every day not having to do all the things you need to do just to survive in New York.
I feel different.
Ahead of every semester, I feel optimistic about how my lifestyle will change. I won’t say it never does, but reality never seems to meet my optimism. I don’t know if this time will be different, but I think I am different as a person.
I feel like, for once, I have a little bit of breadth of experience in life. When I meet new people, I feel interesting even though I hate that I think that. So much of first impressions is optimizing your behavior to impress the other person—or at least leave a positive impression. I’m not entirely sure why, but that pressure is lighter recently. I’m more okay with surfacing my “true” personality earlier. I’m unapologetic in my first interactions. I talk more, though often at the cost of listening less.
In the context of my goals, I have a renewed drive to be more proactive with my social life. To become more of a facilitator—someone who reaches out, hosts, and finds new people—than a passive participant. Reflecting on why I wrote that, I’m unclear on what the bottleneck has been. Part of it is a nebulous discomfort with interacting with unfamiliar people. It’s not something I’m naturally inclined to, and requires extra effort and attention.
But maybe that’s changing. If you can build even the beginnings of a community in the “real” world, then building one at school begins to look easier.
How do you figure out what’s important?
I know some people who I’d characterize as very good at figuring out what is important in the context of short to medium term goals. Short to medium term being goals that are a bigger than “projects,” but don’t quite reach the level of life goals.
I have friends who made it their goal to break into a certain career, and did so relatively straightforwardly (?) and with seemingly minimal sacrifice and stress. I also have friends who, despite achieving the same goal, visibly struggled and sacrificed to get there. Some people are good at working on the right things while ignoring what doesn’t matter. It’s a really useful skill to have, especially as the time frame lengthens. It reminds me of Paul Graham’s "How To Do Great Work.” Figuring out what to work on is often the hardest, but most important thing to do.
When people have it figured out, the result is sprezzatura, one of my new favorite words. It means the appearance of effortlessness, ease, and nonchalance, that is actually the result of careful study and craft. I think sprezzatura is the result of figuring out what truly moves the needle, and working hard on those things while not caring about the rest.
Other things
I enjoyed the most recent episode of Founders about Paul Graham
My new favorite app is Corner (follow me!)
Reading about what investing in AI looks like
Will be in China for the second half of August, then Austin for a week, then Philly (let me know if you’re in town)
whooo nice read